First thing's first.
Beaking. Off... Perfect.
Now on to the actual review. The writing: Very good. Takes the "My First" theme to THAT level, but does it well. It's something I can get down with. The whole Yoda scenario didn't sit right with me at first, but it's funny to an extent. One problem, however. The mental institution and voices in head idea doesn't really fit for me. It feels as if there could have been a different way to present the "first" idea, yet there's not so this is the best option. It's hard to explain, but anyway, good job on that front. I enjoyed the ambiance and sound effects. Each piece of music fits each character presented and gives more tone and feel to these characters. On that note, the characters are varied and actually feel different. Nice work. Now for the meat of this whole audio burger, the (voice) acting. You've put emotion and feel into these characters and made it work nicely. On a technical front, however, it sounds... "off". It's as if you were speaking away from your microphone slightly, it just doesn't sit right in my stomach.
To conclude, you did good work. The voices fit, the writing was excellent, and it was overall done well. Needs a bit more work done though. Keep at it.
Well the cool thing is, none of this was written down, I just kinda voiced as I went a long. Thanks for the compliments!! The microphone thing, ... I think my mic is perfectrly fine, it may have just been the audio equalizing, mostly on the 'narrator' / Doctor.. I wanted him to sound kinda 'intercomish', so that's why he sounds like that. I probably put a little too much, but it's okay. Actually, I notice too when I upload stuff (doesn't matter where), the audio never sounds as great as the actual file itself when you open it raw on the computer. But that's just how places take the audio I assume, lowering the quality down slightly.
I use Adobe Audition CS5.5 btw.
Again, thanks for reviewing!! :)
*Update* I figured out why the mic probably sounded off... I just started using this Porta Booth by Harlan Hogan, like brand new to it... I found out just now that the booth won't work right at all unless you have your mic pretty close to the front and not actually INSIDE the booth. If the mic is inside the booth, the mid-range frequencies get ANNOYING (boxy), which is what you were hearing. But now I have found the sweet spot where everything sounds crisp... Wish I would have known this earlier!
T'was funny. I enjoyed the jokes and subsequent reactions. It had no background music, but that felt right. If anything, it could have used a bit more of a lead in. Perhaps walking up and a quote "Greeting".
Still, overall very nice.
Thank you! I tweaked the beginning as you suggested and also added footsteps away at the end for the candy thief to keep the piece consistent. Again thank you for your review and suggestions!
Okay, I'm feeling pretty good today, so let's focus on the positives first.
The writing was good. It was fresh and made me chuckle. No improvement needed on that front. The acting was also nice. Very believable and I could hear the differences in the sounds of the voices. And that woman voice was actually believable and didn't sound forced. Very nice.
Now on to the negatives, butt hey nobodys perfect.
The sound effect for walking away sounded like knocking on a door. I would recommend you space them out to at least 1/2 a second apart and have each step fade more and more each time. And the only other bad thing was the background white noise and reverb. I could faintly hear that bit of static each time a voice started and stopped speaking. Noise removal goes a long way. On top of that, I could hear a bit of reverb from each character. But I can kinda forgive you for that, seeing as they are in a pet store, and slight echo/reverb sounds just a bit natural.
To conclude, you did good work. I applaud you good sir. Just work on a few things and you'll bet set. Good luck.
Thanks for the Critique! I was sound designer for professional theatre for awhile, but I'm finding that sound like this is a different kind of beast and can use any advice offered! I changed the following and uploaded an updated track:
I changed up the walking tracks all around and tweaked the second one, I kept it fast but I separated the footsteps and incrementally panned them so they sound more like footsteps.
I went back and used as much noise reduction as I could without getting too much distortion. Then I added a track under the whole piece of the noise at the reduced level so there isn't any static to silence cutoffs that are noticeable.
There's nothing I can do about the reverb. I don't have access to a sound proof studio. The only way I know to cheat to reduce reverb is to speak softly when recording to reduce the reflections from the walls, but it's fairly difficult to do multiple distinct voices at a low levels because whispers are a vocal equalizer.
Again thanks for the critique/review!
Alright, you are on the right track with this one; only going in reverse. I enjoyed the writing for this. A nice little take on the secret agent theme. Same goes for first, fits nicely. It feels empty, however. Ambiance, music, sound effects, whatever would have helped this out nicely. Some of the voices seem a tiny bit forced and too spaced out. Another thing that would have helped is sound absorption. I understand not all of us (including me) can afford decent sound recording studios, but blanket on the walls or something would have eliminated enough reverb to increase the quality. Overall, I'd compare this to a well-baked cake, albeit with not enough frosting to make me wanna pig out on it. Keep working on it though, I do enjoy your voice and believe you can do something with it if you just work on a few things.
I do agree with you on many of the points you made. However, I do not have access to music and sound effects (I'm not sure if I'd even be allowed to use some of those things since they might infringe on copyright). Also, I don't know how else I can increase absorption. The space I worked in was basically one big blanket except for my computer and me. I am thinking of re-recording a few things on the track especially the secret agent's voice (I might make him sound more like Solid Snake). Are you part of the judging of the contest?
A really nice piece that made me think. Great voice acting, but you could project your voice just a bit more, sounded kinda quiet at some parts. Ambiance and SFX are great and fit really well. The writing, as Flow said, is a good change of pace. Hits ya hard, and gets you thinking about life and death. I applaud you good sir.
Thank you so much! Yeah, I still need to go back in there and remix the audio, but the fact that everyone can't get over the writing is what I'm really proud of! Thanks again!
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